| Gettin' real humble - real fast! |
[Aug. 26th, 2008|10:40 pm] |
"Excuse me while i kiss the sky..."
-- Jimi Hendrix "Purple Haze"
So there are two things that I really hate...one is going to the mall. That never is an enjoyable experience. The second activity I truly hate is to fly…I have opined on this before but recent travel has brought it to the forefront of my thinking. Not so much because of the hassle of going through the lines and extra security, but because...well, I fear flying. *Insert laugh track.*
Most of us all know that the Wright Brothers pioneered flight in Kitty Hawk. From their initial flight on the beach, we now have huge chunks of metal that fly through the air and impressive speeds going from point A to B. Well, it’s because that huge hunk of metal leaves the ground that I really hate flying. I much prefer the train or the car largely because I don’t have to deal with the anxiety that something "bad" could happen in the air that I have no control over. Now, while it could be argued that I have no more control over a car or a train than I do an airplane, but mentally, being on the ground feels "better."
So when having to fly, I start to get reflective...usually about the time as the plane makes that final turn to the runway. I figure, if i really want off the flight, I have until the plane makes that final turn before takeoff to make a big enough stink to the get the plane to return to the gate. While I have yet to exercise that option, I do start to examine my life thus far and ask those questions that are so often milked in Lifetime movies. I start to wonder if I have made the right choices in my life and lived in a manner that is meaningful and rewarding. Such thoughts are prompted when I begin to wonder if this trip, on this flight, could be "it.”
Yes, I'm rambling, but long story short - when having to do something that fans feelings of fear and anxiety, humbleness and reflection on one’s life seems like fitting reactions. If anything, it makes me appreciate, perhaps most importantly, the people in my life and the opportunities that I have been blessed with.
After all...37,000 feet at 500 miles per hour is a pretty good vantage point from which to review one’s life thus far... |
|
|
| Don't I know you? |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|02:41 am] |
"Hello, old friend...it's really good to see you once again..."
-- Eric Clapton "Hello Old Friend"
I think if my blog could phone me, the voice mail would probably be something along the lines of "Hello...its your livejournal...you never log on anymore...you never write...I'll just sit here in the corner..ALONE....no one pays attention to me...call me sometime..."
Sadly, the blog would be correct in it's observation. I too, have noticed that I only seem to blog about once every 6-12 months. Surely there is more going on in my life than just a few events every couple of years, right?
So moving forward, I'm aiming to provide pithy missives more frequently on general observations and perhaps even some deep thoughts.
Here's to old friends! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2007|09:01 pm] |
Big ol' jet airliner, dont carry me to far away, oh big ol' jet airliner, 'cause it's here that I've got to stay"
-- Steve Miller Band "Jet Airliner"
Clearly the Steve Miller Band never had to fly commercial, or if they did, they were part of the elite frequent flyer program and did not have to fly cattle class, or what most airlines refer to as "economy."
I recently had the displeasure of flying an airline to Phoenix for a family event. I arrive at the airport well in advance of my flight and proceed to the gate where I promptly found myself in the crosshairs of the endless summer of flight delays and cancellations that have plagued summer travelers. My flight, initially scheduled for 5:26p departure ended up not leaving until 7:00p. This is where things began to get irritating...
Problem number 1: The plane is leaving late due to "weather in Atlanta." Okay, fine. I can’t control the weather. Well, as passengers finally begin to make their way down the jetway towards the plane, an announcement comes over the PA saying "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the inconvenience, but we have just been informed that if this plane is not airborne by 7:00pm, the Captain will have to hold the flight for an additional two hours. If you could please exercise expedience in boarding and getting seated, that will facilitate a prompt departure. Thank you." The scene then turned into one of mass chaos of people trying to get into the plane so quickly that it almost resembled a Benny Hill skit.
Problem number 2: Passengers of size... Some readers of this blog may recall Southwest airlines implementing a 'passenger of size' rule some years back that required passengers who took up more than one seat to purchase both seats. Well, I was walking towards my seat and awaiting me was *fanfare music* a passenger of size whose shoulders, mid section, and thighs had invaded enemy territory and were now occupying my seat. Lovely. Not only did my new friend to Atlanta decided to invade my personal aura of tranquility (all 17" of it) but he also had to put the arm rests up in order to accommodate himself. BAH! I am left to ask, why does Delta charge me for a whole seat when I was only allowed 3/4 use of it?
The plane becomes airborne and we're on our way to Atlanta. We land, and I barely make my connecting plane to Phoenix. This flight was starting off better than the last. The plane (A Boeing 757) was largely empty and I had an entire row to myself. Fan-friggin-tastic! Oops! Spoke to soon. We ended up moving to another gate for another plane as the plane we were seated on was having issues. Okay, fine. I'd rather be safe than dead. Then we had to move to another gate for yet another plane. By this time, it was 12:15am. The plane gets airborne and four hours later, I end up in Phoenix...four hours late at 1:30am.
So what’s the point to all this ranting? Ah, let me tell you.
When returning to Washington, the flight attendant comes on to tell me and 100 of my new friends that we should "sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight." It then hits me: What the fuck is there to enjoy?!
I paid for my seat only to find that a portion of seat in 42D had been annexed by the man in 42E. Then, in addition to this, everything on the damn plane is a la carte. I have to pay for my headset that really doesn’t help me hear anything since the plane is loud, and I have to pay for any sort of food other than peanuts or pretzels. What is there to enjoy about this!? I'd rather do ANYTHING today than fly!
I am starting to appreciate what my friend says about flying: It is becoming too easy for people to fly anywhere.
Though, I will say that I DO like the Boeing 757. It takes off and climbs nicely, has a smooth landing and is just an all around great plane. I do like it despite not enjoying flying as a whole. |
|
|
| Come visit our sunny dictatorship! |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|10:14 pm] |
Fidel Castro: Comrads, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to abandon communism!
(Castro's Aides and other associates sigh)
Fidel Castro: I know, I know, I know... but we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn't fly! I'll call Washington and tell them they won.
Castro Aide #1: But presidente, America tried to kill you!
Fidel Castro: Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco!
[Aide whispers something into his ear]
Fidel Castro: It's full of what?
-- Fidel Castro, as depicted in an episode of "The Simpson's"
So I normally fly United exclusively. I generally dont have any brand loyalties but for some reason I do when it comes to airlines. Well this time, I ended up on Air Canada (a code share of United) and noticed that Air Canada vacations offers packages to the lovely resort town of (wait for it...) HAVANA! Yes, if you are a Canadian (or any other nationality other than American) you too can travel to Cuba for a tropical get away. I guess it just took me by surprise that such a vacation destination would be offered. But again, I have to remember that the rest of the world can travel to Cuba.
Though I shouldn't make fun because I have never been there. After all, when you get outside of the airport and are picked up in a 1954 Packard Taxi, I'm sure it's a fantastic get away.... |
|
|
| Vacation Recap, part deux |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|09:43 pm] |
Big ol' jet airliner, dont carry me to far away, oh big ol' jet airliner, 'cause it's here that I've got to stay"
-- Steve Miller Band "Jet Airliner"
Part two of vacation update...the part of it after I escaped the airport.
...So I learned quickly (as did the rest of my taveling party) that the ratio of food quality to food price was not equitable at all. In fact, the food price was much higher compared to the quality of the food. Note to self for future travel to Montreal.
Now, one of the highlights of the trip to file under the "wow, I'm a dumbass/haha, thats funny now that I've had time to reflect on it" category took place on the second to last night that I was there. We were enroute from the downtown area to the hotel and managed to pick the ONE cab in town where the driver didnt know where our hotel was. Apparently, having a car and the ability to collect money is all that is needed to be a cabbie in Montreal. So after finally getting our driver to our hotel, he couldnt figure out how to park in such a manner that we could exit the cab, despite our hotel being on the opposite corner of the light at which we were stopped. It was at this point that we all individually decided to get the hell out of this cab. I fished some money from my wallet as did one of my traveling mates, and we made our graceful, but prompt exits from the cab. As the cab turned down the street, I noticed a feeling was missing from my butt...Now before you go making jokes, a little background: The wallet I carry is a wide, double-fold type that one friend describes as "tumor sized." Well, I didnt have the feeling of a tumor on my ass and soon realized that somehow, I left my wallet in the taxi....which was making it exit away from the hotel. My friend, being a bit more concerned about the situation than I should have been, promptly said "Get in another cab." So for the first time in my life, I was able to jump into a cab with all the gusto and finess that comes with most action movies and say "FOLLOW THAT CAB!"
Unfortunatley, such statements do not translate well to French speaking Knaucks. I was greeted with a blank stare to which I repeated "Follow that cab there" and received the response of "Cab? you mean Taxi?" Needless to say, by the time we were enroute, the cab was gone, as was my wallet, credit cards, $50 Canadian dollars, $2 American dollars and my drivers license. Now, normally, when I have gift cards, I normally keep them in my wallet so that if the circumstance warrants and I am out putzing around, I can redeem them. Luckily, I did not have any gift cards in my wallet because if I had been carrying a Brooks Brothers or Nordstrom gift card, I'd have broken out into a sprint after that cab. However, I did have two business cards in that wallet which listed my wokr address, work phone number, work mobile number and email address. So it's not like the cab driver couldnt at least attempt to get my wallet back to me...though he may be getting even with my friend and I for as we exited the intial cab, my friend declared "well, no tip if you dont know where the hotel is!" So I guess he got quite a tip if he heard that.
Another thought: As I waited on hold with my credit union to cancel my credit card, I heard about 40 messages telling me how "easy and fast" it is to pay my bill online. They were really driving home the "pay your bill" message, despite my phoning into the "lost or stolen" line.
In retrospect, the trip was great, I was able relax, see some great art, enjoy good company and just do something out of the ordinary. Next time, I'll know to keep one credit card out of my wallet, and to hold my wallet firmly in hand. |
|
|
| Memorable vacation quotes |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|11:11 pm] |
So after spending four days on the road with friends, I wanted to compile some of the quotes that I found especially memorable. Many of these are probably quotes that would be better explained in the full context of the conversation, but in lieu of not having the full context, we'll just say "you had to be there."
While walking through town:
"I mean, c'mon, I'm only so liberal."
In reference to paintings in a gallery:
Friend: "Clearly the houses in that picture are not part of an HOA"
Me: "How so?"
Friend: "Look at them! Purple roofs?! Oh, no! Not that."
Me: "Maybe you should it to your HOA board."
Friend: "No, they'd use that and say 'Look! This is what we fear!'"
In refernece to some shoes:
Dinner guest 1: "What kind of shoes are those"
Dinner guest 2: "Like those? Their snake skin"
Friend: "Hmm...textile matches personality..." |
|
|
| Vacation Recap, part un |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|10:30 pm] |
"Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away."
- The Go-Go's "Vacation"
So I took my first ever vacation as an "adult." What I mean by this is I took a vacation that was not with my parents and it was taken with no agenda and with friends. So instead of driving somewhere to meet someone or meet my parents somewhere, it was just an open slate. But the trip was not without some memories...let’s recap this trip to Montreal, shall we?
"Tell me baby, what's your story? Where you come from, and where you wanna go this time?"
- Red Hot Chili Peppers "Tell me baby"
So after landing in Montreal, I made my way to customs. Now, this author does not profess to be quick on his feet when answering questions...which turned what would normally be a quick process into a 45 minute trek. I was supposed to land 45 minutes before my friends and I had plans of breezing through customs and then waiting for them. However, I ended up walking out of immigration (different process from customs for those unfamiliar with the intricacies of international travel) only to run smack into my friends as they cleared customs.
I arrived, proceeded to customs and was greeted by a Canadian customs official. Our conversation went like such:
Customs officer (CO): "Welcome to Canada. Are you traveling on business?"
Me: "No, I am here on vacation."
CO: "How long will you be here?"
Me: "four days."
CO: "What will you be doing here?"
(This is the part where I should have just stopped talking)
Me: "I really don't have an agenda. I've never been here and I'm on vacation with friends."
CO: *inquisitive look* "Okay...well, where are your friends now?"
Me "On a flight from New Jersey."
CO: "Ah. Where will you be staying?"
Me: "The Hyatt."
CO: "Okay...do you have any plans for your time in Montreal?"
(Here is another time where I should have just stopped or started pulling out good answers from my derriere.)
Me: "No, I'm just on vacation and really just looking to relax."
CO: *Questionable look.* ".....okay....*stamps immigration form* I'm going to ask that you go to Immigration through the double doors behind me. Thank you."
So I went through Immigration and again, went through the same line of questioning, including "Who do you work for," "what do you do" and "what does that consist of." I went into a brief explanation of my job and its duties. The officer seemed to be accepting the purpose of my visit. After producing my business card to try and show I wasn't just making shit up, the agent stamped my passport and I was on my way. It was at this point that I met up with my friends and we shared a good laugh about my customs and immigration experience.....UNTIL we were exiting into the main terminal and another agent took my customs declaration form, looked at the notations on it and had me enter into yet another area for questioning. Again, the same litany of questions from an obese immigration officer who looked as if he hadn’t missed confiscating any sweets illegally brought into the great land of the Maple leaf. After a thorough searching of my bag, I was free to begin my agenda free vacation. Pretty exciting, eh!
Next update: Vacation recap, part deux! |
|
|
| Saying goodbye |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|10:51 pm] |
’Long distance information, give me Memphis Tennessee; help me find the party trying to get in touch with me...’ Chuck Berry, “Memphis, Tennessee.”
So as I continue to put down roots here in Virginia/DC, I gave up another portion of my former Oregon live --I changed my cell phone number. I avoided changing my number for as long as possible for sentimental reasons, but after many friends pointed out that they were having to pay long-distance charges to call me, I figured it was time to let go. The number I left behind and I had many memories...it was the number that delivered the call of my first job, friends calling to say hello, but it also bore some bad news too, such as mom's hospitalization and the passing of other family members. I invested in a cell phone (though does anyone really 'invest' in a cell phone…?) during the spring 2002 college semester...most everyone else already had them, but I held out only to cave in after having a close call when commuting between school and my hometown in eastern Oregon that, had I gotten stranded, I would have been screwed. In retrospect, to think back of all the conversations and people that have called and been called over the past 5 years...many memories come to light. Of course, there is no where to go but forward, so out with the '503' and in with the '202!'
ZZ Top tells us that "every girl’s crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man" and knowing that ZZ Top can speak no wrong, I decided that it was time to purchase new suits and I did so a couple of months ago (yes, I am aware that this isn’t really newsworthy and that speaking of an event that happened two months ago makes the it old and stale, but hey, it seems to be an effective marketing tool for the New York Post). Well, I really didn’t decide to buy new suits…but rather, people started commenting on the fact that I was wearing the same suit to work…every day.
Much like my old cell phone, I also had to put my old suits out to pasture. Those suits had seen just as much action as my old cell phone number did. Those suits met U.S. Senators, traveled the country, have made public speaking appearances, musical performances, countless job interviews, and yes, even a couple dates. It reminds me of that awful movie "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"* only without the girls and a pair of overpriced jeans that were manufactured for $.50 in some third world country and then sold at Abercrombie for a 1000% markup.
This evening, I threw my first "dinner" at my apartment. Despite the fact that I have lived here for six months and I am just NOW throwing a dinner party is behind the point. It turned out well, until I had to start plunging my kitchen sink. In the midst of plunging and spewing profanity, a thought occurred to me and as marinara-stained water sloshed about which into more of a reflection.
As my guests left this evening, before I shut the door, I said to them "thank you for coming." Not a ground breaking statement but bear with me...I remember as a kid that my grandmother used to say that after we would always leave her home. She was a widow for nearly 16 years and lived largely alone until the last years of her life when she had in-home care. Now I did not consciously think to 'thank' my guests for coming this evening -I guess you could say it was mechanical. However, as I dealt with my sink, the thought occurred (warning: lifetime movie moment approaching) that someone took time out of their evening to spend part of it with me. They could have done something else, but instead, I was fortunate to enjoy their time. I suppose I can appreciate what grandma meant when she would always thank people for coming...
So I raise my glass to new starts, new clothes, and to those who take time the time to visit.
...............And to you dear reader, I thank you for coming.
* - I did not willingly watch this movie...my roommate back home made me watch it only for her to promptly fall asleep halfway though it. |
|
|
| Looking back, and moving forward |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|09:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
"...Already been as high as Kathmandu - Willing to go as far as Timbuktu, Nowhere's too far away - I may catch up with you today - maybe today will finally be the day."
- Minuano (Elling/Metheny)
So after much radio silence since my last entry, I decied that it was time to opine. Today, the reality has set in that I have been in Washington D.C. for a year now (as of July 16). The memory of boarding yet another flight bound for Dulles seems fresh and yet I am still surprised in a way to recall that, yes, in fact, it really has been a year. I boarded that flight out of Portland for what was supposed to be a quick one week trip for a job interview that turned into a one year affair ending with me not landing the job for which I came, but ending up in a position that may be better than the one I came for (though I have to admit that I find some feeling of "it figures" in that neither the person who interviewed me or the person who was hired for the position that I came to town for are still employed there).
So in the past year, what's happened....hmm...the simple answer is to say "a lot" though some of the highlights may be more amusing. I suppose I'll just right in and see where I end up....
Since July 16, 2006, I have gone from professional intern, to a non-profit, and finally into a position that marries my love of press and media affairs with politics. While the hours may be variable and often not the most ideal, I have a feeling (in addition to being told) that I have made a good career move. I will admit that I miss the hours from my life at the non-profit, but the peaks and valleys of activity (mostly valleys) at the non-profit are definitely an aspect of the job I do not miss. Needless to say, the dream that began in February of 2005 with a marathon of spring break informational interviews, cold letters, phone calls and a plethora or emails has finally been attained and while I will always cling in some small fashion to my native Oregon roots, I am starting to feel as if this is now 'home.'
I suppose I should reflect on what I have 'learned.' Well, perhaps learned is not the correct phrase...how I have changed may be the more appropriate word. I have changed in the sense that I've lost weight. As I stumbled out of a friends shower in July 2006 before going to the airport, I was groggy and tired. However, I was drawn to the bathroom scale where I weighed myself and noticed I had achieved an unattractive 205lbs. I definitely woke up at that point. Now, I weigh a better (though not ideal) 175lbs. Amazing what happens when you have to not only walk everywhere but stop drinking regular coke. I have also noticed that I have continued to mellow despite my at times very obvious type 'A' personality. Some things that would have made me flip my shit a year ago are now just rolled with. I think my heart is probably happy that the blood pressure has dropped within me.
I have also learned some other things over this past year as well. Perhaps the freshest lesson that I have learned is that the people that I thought...no, thats not right. The people I expected to always be reliable (and, as much as it sounds like a lifetime movie) and always be there for me have disappointed me greatly. I learned a great lesson in that the people one may always rely on will most likely disappoint you. On the converse though, I have also learned that the people I didn’t expect to step up and say "I'm here" did in fact, come through for me. I realize now how fortunate I am in the company I keep. I have some wonderful people in my life who have come through for me on numerous occasions and that the more I reflect, the more I realize this fact. My life is much richer for the contributions that my friends make and I have also found that distance from some of these people has only made me realize the significance these individuals have played.
I suppose another thing I have learned is that the often overused and never appreciated piece of wisdom, "Things happen for the reason" is in fact, true. In retrospect, had I gotten the job I initially applied for, who knows how different things may have ended up, both positive and negative. I suppose that now that the dust has settled and life has moved forward, I am glad that all has happened as it did as I am enjoying where things are now.
So...in all of this reflection, what is new? Well, I have my own apartment, my own furniture, I now officially own my car (wow, I have assets!) and I have great friends. Despite how 'bad' I may think things are, I should be more mature to realize I am much more fortunate than the majority of the population.
And yet in the midst of all this change, some constants remain. I still buy gummi bears only to throw out the yellow ones and eat the red and clear ones, I still enjoy the comics at McDonalds...if there is a Pink Martini concert within 50 miles, I will be there...I still love The Simpson's despite the tired and same jokes as 5 years ago (and may even go to a midnight showing if one is playing when the movie opens in a couple weeks) and of course, I am still single. I suppose me being single is one of those things that lets you know the universe is still spinning.
What does the next year bring....While there are many theories and ideas that can be floated, I suspect that I will find out in due time. But for now, I raise my glass in reflection, and toast to the hope that the next blog entry, will not be months in the making. |
|
|
| Overheard at dinner |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|08:32 pm] |
So Ms. K and I went out to dinner tonight, and here is a quote that made me laugh. It warranted posting. One of the specials at the restaurant was trout with a bunch of stuff on top of it. I don't particularly enjoy trout, I am more of a salmon man.
Me: "I really have a hard time seeing trout as a special at any type of restaurant."
Ms. K: "Yeah, especially when it comes topped with everything in an aquarium."
A good time was had by all! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|11:39 pm] |
Hello, Blog. The radio silence has been due to the beating of my ego due to my moving in with my parents. That, I believe, is about to change. Stay tuned...
So one of my guilty pleasures is to get a copy of the newspaper and go to McDonalds and read them over my lunch. It's my thing to do and I enjoy it. (Yes, I am sure it's no shock to hear that I am at a McDonalds, but that is a topic for another conversation.)
Though, I have come to the conclusion that some comics are misclassified. "How so" might you ask. Well, it seems that some how, the editorial cartoons have managed to find themselves on the comic pages. This become quite a nuisance when, after reading yet another unfunny Garfield strip, (don't get me wrong, I love Garfield. When I was a kid, if there was a "Garfield" special on TV, I was there glued to the TV...but the comic has to be more boring than a club sandwich) I stumble upon two comics that are regularly used as editorial boards.
One of the offenders that is most regular, is "Candorville." Unfunny and irritating. However, the WORST, REPEAT OFFENDER is "Prickly City." I should just skip over it, but like a bug drawn to light, I have to stop and read it. I only find myself shaking my head and getting angry that the comics have been ruined by comics that resemble "The O'Reilly Factor" or "Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Yet another comic that is guilty of being highly unamusing is "The Boondocks." Apparently, racial humour is funny when you're the minority making the joke, but god forbid someone else make any of the jokes often seen in "The Boondocks."
So what's the point to all this? It's just a rant. I wish that the editorials would stay in the editorials and the comics would remain funny, mindless, and just as empty as the french fries that I enjoy them with. |
|
|
| Supreme Sightings |
[Feb. 2nd, 2006|09:02 pm] |
I was in the Senate Gallery during the confirmation vote of Samuel Alito. On the way back to our office, the other interns and I just happened to run into our own boss. He, along with Ohio Senator George Voinovich (R-OH) rode in the same train car as we did. We had a great conversation. We discussed the other Senator from the state my Senator is from who at first voted FOR Samuel Alito, but then promptly changed his vote after being scolded by Harry Reid (D-NV). It was sad really. The seantor in question voited "Aye" and as he did, I watched Harry Reid do a complete 180 Military about-face, walk up the isle and talk to the Senator in question. Then, about 10 mins later, John Kerry walked in and "counseled" the senator in question, who promptly changed his vote. As we discussed this on the train back, George Voinovich said "This is the most important lesson you will learn here. You have to have a set of values and always stand on your principles. You cant base your actions on opinon polls and think tanks. You have to believe in, and stand for your convictions." Not bad advice coming from a US Senator in a very casual setting. Our boss echoed his thoughts, saying that it was sad that the vote of his fellow statesman went down as it had.
Ooooo! I saw Tim Russert this week. That was cool. |
|
|
| Bumper sticker politics |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|03:44 pm] |
So as I was driving about today, I decided to make a quick stop at Fred Meyer to do some Christmas shopping. Seeing as everyone else in town had the same idea, I decided to proceed to my doctor’s appointment and be ridiculously early. As I was exiting the parking lot, I saw a car decorated with political bumper stickers. For those of you not familiar with Portland, seeing a car with bumper stickers of a political nature covering the entire trunk area of a car is not uncommon. So as I waited to exit the parking lot, I saw that most of these bumper stickers were largely environmental, and one for the Audubon Society. I kept reading and noticed a bumper sticker reading:
"I'm a birder, and I vote."
My initial reaction was "okay..." then I thought "who the hell cares!" I’m so glad to see that your love the snowy plover, the cardinal, the pigeon, and the robin are holding the future of all politics in the balance. I glad to see that when you go into a ballot box, you base your decision upon the migration patters of Canadian snow geese. Lest we forget the influence of the Cardinal on our democratic form of government.
I began to wonder...what other similar bumper-stickers could I come up with that have absolutely nothing to do with politics yet could be pasted onto someone’s car? I started thinking of my friends and here are some of what I came up with:
"I support bunnies, and I vote."
"I watch The Simpons, and I vote."
"I like to cook, and I vote."
"I'm in a Fraternity, and I vote."
"I'm arrogant, and I vote."
"I like the zoo, and I vote."
"I'm naive and wishy-washy, and I vote."
"I cheat on my girlfriend/boyfriend, and I vote."
"I have an STD, and I vote."
So...basically, the list is endless. I've concluded that to construct a bumper sticker, the formula is:
"I'm (describe hobby here) and I vote."
Now, I've seen other stickers that say "I’m a teacher and I vote" or "I’m union, and I vote" and lest we forget my personal favourite "I'm in the NRA and I vote." These stickers seem to carry some sway or influence that may be political. But IM A BIRDER?! Bitch please, you're telling me that the buggy-eyed beaked Firnark will determine the outcome of spending bills, constitutional amendments and congressional pay-raises? Ugh...I wonder sometimes....MOVING ON....
I read in the living section of The Oregonian (The section with the funnies) That Kanye "I hate America" West has said "I deserve to win best new album of the year." The article states:
Kanye backs down ever so slightly in proclaiming himself album winner:
Before the Grammy nominations were even announced, Kanye West went ahead and declared himself winner of the album of the year. Now, he's backing down. But only a little bit. "I actually haven't listened to Paul McCartney's album, I won't lie to you about that," he told MTV News. "I'm going to check it out. I'm going to make sure I feel like I should win."
In a backstage rant earlier this month, West predicted that politics would keep him from walking away with the Grammy for his album "Late Registration," saying it would be backlash for his public criticism of President Bush.
"If I don't win album of the year, I'm going to really have a problem with that," he said. "I don't want to hear all that politically correct stuff. You put the camera in front of me, I'm going to tell you like it is."
West considers his album worlds better than the other nominees', including Mariah Carey's "The Emancipation of Mimi"; Gwen Stefani's "Love.Angel.Music.Baby"; U2's "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb"; and McCartney's "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard." (The Oregonian, Living Section, Dec 19)
WHAT THE FUCK! Did you dare just compare yourself to Paul McCartney? The man has written more songs than Kanye West has farted and McCartney's songs actually required him to sing AND play instruments. Not borrow Jamie Fox's impression of Ray Charles to play in the background while claiming that some ho you met is a gold-digger while using the word "niggaz" repeatedly that would be socially unacceptable in any other venue except for this one for some reason; its called a DOUBLE STANDARD. Kanye goes on to say "If I don’t win, it will be because of what I said about George Bush" and that he'll "Have a problem with that." JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST! Did it ever occur to you Mr. no-talent-ass-clown that you may not win because...well, YOU SUCK compared to the other artists! Additionally, did you ever stop to consider that your win might be based on something other than your pathetic and ignorant rants of entitlement? Perhaps ALBUM SALES? Kanye West cant hold a candle to Paul McCartney, or U2! I am not familiar with Mariah Carey or Gwen Steffani and as such, they are lazay fare. Oh, and one last thing: If Mr. Self entitled no talent is so superior to U2, THEN WHY ARE YOU OPENING FOR THEM IN PORTLAND TONIGHT! If I were Bono, I'd take my peace-loving microphone and shove it so far up your own ass that you'd have to write a freaking song about it as your audience would see it every time you opened that toxic waste dump you call a mouth! Seriously...I hope West gets beaten and then bitches and moans that it's George W. Bush's fault that he didn’t get a Grammy, and not his lack of talent. Bah! |
|
|
| She got a job with THIS?! |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|03:42 pm] |
So I was putzing around the net recently and stumbled upon Monica Lewinsky's resume. Wow. Talk about a resume that should have been reviewed by the Career Services office at her college (which just happens to be Portland's very own Lewis & Clark College). Check it out:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/dossier/mlresume.html
I'm sorry, but with the exception of the GPA, my resume makes this one look like I'm a Rhodes Scholar. How did this get past White House screeners? She must have written really, really, REALLY, REALLY GOOD, no, GREAT essays for her application. |
|
|
| A Capitol Fourth |
[Jul. 5th, 2005|03:25 pm] |
|
I braved the crowds and went down to the National Mall last night to view the fireworks. I arrived around 7:00 and the group I was with took some time to just sit and chat amongst the thousands of others on the Mall. I think the most moving part was when the National Anthem was sang. Every year, there are singers and bands playing in front of the Capitol before the fireworks. From where we were, however, it mostly served as background noise. However, when the National Anthem was played, everyone in the mall, hundreds of thousands of people, rose to their feet, and fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. It was very moving and also interesting to see that so many people could collectively shut the hell up for 30 seconds. |
|
|
| Don't walk...I SAID "DON'T WALK, DAMMIT!" |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|01:20 am] |
So...we all know those handy little street signs that tell us when to walk and when to not walk. So on Monday, as I was leaving the Kinkos armed with resumes and cover letters, I proceeded to walk up Pennsylvania Avenue towards the Capitol and over to the Senate. I stopped at the corner, looked both ways (some habits from childhood die hard) and proceeded to walk...despite the flashing red hand. As I was was crossing, one of DC's boys in blue approached me, introduced himself and asked if he could speak to me for a minute. He informed me that DC police were conducting pedestrian/traffic enforcement and asked if I knew that it was illegal in the District of Columbia to walk against the do not walk signal. I informed him that I did not know that (when I really did, but work with me here). He asked to see my license and proceeded to write issue me a NOTICE OF INFRACTION for WALKING AGAINST A DO NOT WALK SIGNAL!! Jebus! I escaped the $10 fine because he noticed from my drivers license that I was not from the area. I think the best part was here he said "can I have you step over here, please" as opposed to "step out of the vehicle." A city with a murder rate as high as DC's and I get stopped on 7th and Penn for walking against the do not walk signal. What a joke...
Though, I went back on Tuesday...and he wasn't there...I proceeded to walk against the signal :0) |
|
|
| Graduation and walks down memory lane |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|12:44 pm] |
Graduation was this past Sunday...it was pretty moving in a way. It marked the end of so much like choir and being able to walk across campus, or the hall for that matter and hang-out with people I respect and love dearly. I am ready for a change though and for new challenges.
I was also quoted in the Statesman Journal. Pretty cool! My words, in print!
After I graduated, I met mom and dad and mom told me "If God spared me for anything, it was to be here to see this." Pretty powerful. I guess I didn't realize how my graduation was going to impact them. They were pretty excited, given I am the first in my family to graduate from college. It was a memorable day to say the least.
The past few days, I have been sorting through things in my room as I prepare to relocate to Washington DC in a couple weeks. I've found a lot of pictures from the past. I even found my High School ASB cards...talk about memories. Things were easier back then, but not necessarily better. It was nice to look back into my past. :)
Well, I am off to Washington DC in about two weeks to camp-out on friends' couches and floors while I look for a job. I have come to the conclusion that I will have to be in DC in order to get a job there. More info to come on that!!! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
eagle1032's journal